if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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