you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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