Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
