i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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