Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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