best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
