Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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