I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
