is your mom at the bar?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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