remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
