did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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