she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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