a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
