This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
