A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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