Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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