they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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