I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I party with great urgency now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
