So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
