First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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