At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
