not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
