i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
