You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind