come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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