No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
