So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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