Will you blow on my dice?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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