Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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