I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
