this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
