he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
