...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
