I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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