just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His nipple licking is glorious
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