After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is Oprah even human
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize