So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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