It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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