Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
