He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
