Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
