STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
