try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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