dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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