I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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