you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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