Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
