is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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