Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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