i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
