we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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