So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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