# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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