YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
