margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
