Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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