i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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