Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
