Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
