Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
